There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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