I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize