WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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