you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize