did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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