There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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