I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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