Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now

(917): View more from New York City

Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway

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(917): Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now (917): Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway http://tfl.nu/aof1

Replies (6) Good night (815) Bad night (1119)
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(248): View more from Michigan

i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine

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(248): i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine http://tfl.nu/gbjn

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(860): View more from Connecticut

yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her

(860): View more from Connecticut

but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"

(860): View more from Connecticut

but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies

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(860): yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her (860): but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!" (860): but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies http://tfl.nu/084i

Replies (42) Good night (2492) Bad night (841)
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(206): View more from Washington

I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.

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(206): I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work. http://tfl.nu/jzpk

Replies (31) Good night (3519) Bad night (561)
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(925): View more from California

just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.

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(925): just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win. http://tfl.nu/n1uf

Replies (14) Good night (2530) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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(239): View more from Florida

you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys

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(239): you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys http://tfl.nu/zkgi

Replies (20) Good night (4494) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.

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(734): swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense. http://tfl.nu/wj9q

Replies (23) Good night (7588) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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(763): View more from Minnesota

someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

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(763): someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless http://tfl.nu/hdeq

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril

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(603): judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril http://tfl.nu/m6dd

Replies (21) Good night (5041) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night

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(610): i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night http://tfl.nu/l16l

Replies (7) Good night (1233) Bad night (2642) Order T-Shirt
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.

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(225): I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants. http://tfl.nu/c768

Replies (0) Good night (1254) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.

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(513): While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from. http://tfl.nu/e26m

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(703): View more from Virginia

Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex

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(703): Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex http://tfl.nu/1fn0

Replies (7) Good night (415) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.

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(803): I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids! (1-803): Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew. http://tfl.nu/h7pj

Replies (6) Good night (1681) Bad night (407)
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(310): View more from California

Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.

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(310): Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure. http://tfl.nu/ptmp

Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt

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