i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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