I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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