i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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