I hate all girls vehemently.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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