I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize