Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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