I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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