She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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