I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
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as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
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I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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