I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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