I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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