Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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