people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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