no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize