im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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