For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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