What a fucking waste of an outfit
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize