when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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