No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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