I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize