Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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