How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize