omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
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i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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