So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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