i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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