im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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