The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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