If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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