Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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