i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
my poor anus
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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