Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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