RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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