There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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