I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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