I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize