Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
another moral hangover. fuck.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
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pop tarts are not kleenex
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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