I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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