areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize