you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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