Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize