Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize