Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My vagina is officially offended.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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